Tools to Help Students Find Friends

Do you see students at your school sitting alone or having a hard time making friends?  For many students, navigating the schoolyard at break or finding a lunch buddy can be challenging and overwhelming.  Sitting by oneself is a lonely experience.  In some cases, students who are by themselves become targets for bullying. Feeling socially isolated can also cause poor academic performance.  What does your school do to encourage students to engage with others outside their groups or who may be feeling alone and ostracized?  We have a few ideas below to help your students find a welcoming place at school.

For older students, a new app called Sit With Us helps students who have difficulty finding a place to sit for lunch or hang out find a welcoming group.   The app allows students to designate themselves as “ambassadors,” thereby inviting others to join them. Ambassadors can then post “open lunch” events, which signal to anyone seeking company that they’re invited to join the ambassadors’ table.   Sit with Us is a mobile app that is designed to create a kinder more inclusive school community.  It was designed by 16-year Natalie Hampton after she experienced bullying and loneliness during her seventh-grade year.  Hampton told Audie Cornish on NPR’s “All Things Considered” that the reason why she felt an app like this was necessary is because it prevents kids from being publicly rejected and being considered social outcasts by their peers. She is definitely on to something - recent studies conducted by Princeton, Rutgers and Yale University show  that when students, especially the “cool kids,” stand up to bullying it has a significant impact. During a 2012-2013 school year, over 50 New Jersey middle schools provided their most socially competent students with social media tools and encouragement to combat bullying, and saw a reduction in student conflict reports by 30 percent.

We think Natalie's app is a great idea, especially for middle and high school students.  For those schools where phones aren't allowed or whose students are too young to bring them to school, here are a few other ideas to give kids a chance to feel included:

• A Buddy Bench.  Designate a special bench on the playground where students can go if they are feeling lonely or need a friend. 
• Schedule group activities during recess.  Rotate through with different games, dance parties, art projects. These low-key, fun, play times during school can help students gain important social skills and interact with kids they may not know well.
• Ask teachers to celebrate their students unique talents and interests in class one day.  Our post last week had some great ideas on how teachers can run this project in class.
• Middle and high schools can create an advisory group or peer mediation group, with a teacher to help facilitate, where students can come up with their own ideas on including others and solving problems. This group could also be a great student leadership team to run the 21 Day Kindness Challenge at your school!
• Create a school garden (or planter beds) and invite everyone to get involved.  Watch your students grow and thrive alongside the plants!
• Provide guidance and training for your yard duties to help them spot and support students who may be feeling lonely.

Share with us what your school is doing to help students develop friendships by sending us an email or posting a reply here!

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